Why Is it So Difficult?

" When you are a mom..." " If you are a mom..." When you get pregnant... I'll give these to you..." I absolutely despise these sayings when I hear them. Despise!! It's so difficult for me to swallow these, when, if's, when's', phrases from people, but why? Is it because I make myself feel self conscious about my infertility? Should I be self conscious about it? Should I embrace it and just accept what is my plan in life?  Why is it that I allow myself to feel so inferior to these words? 

This morning as I was getting ready for my day, I was thinking that if ultimately we decide to live a childless life, I would be okay with it. I am starting to come to grips that our plan to go through IVF may not work and that if it doesn't, then so be it. I think in the back of my mind, I'm trying to mentally prepare myself, should we have to make this decision. 

This entry derives from spending a day with my BFF. While, I love her to death, it's just so hard for me to connect with her these days especially since she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy last year.  


Hearing phrases like this just kinda pushes me away, but all the while, I know she doesn't mean any harm, so, I try to not let it get to me. But gah, all I heard were these words today.... 


This weekend, I'm taking a trip with my best girls and I'm scared that I'm going to feel the odd man out again as all but 1 other one is a mom. I pray.