I am starting to dread that awful question that most couples get when they've been married for quite some time. I most especially dread it from young couples that push and push it on you to the point of you wanting to stay away from them.
THE QUESTION: When are you guys having kids?
This past weekend, I was dreading that person. I knew that she was going to ask me. Heck, every time I see her, she makes it a point in our conversation to ask me when we are going to have kids. My response this time, " We are practicing." Her response, " Well, you guys have been practicing for awhile."
Mr. Dubyah wants me to talk with her and hopefully educate her how personal this question can be to some people. But, I don't think I"m ready for that " talk" with her yet. I'm still grudging over our long ago phone conversation when her daughter was sick and she was worried about her breathing. To make the long story short, she basically said to me, " You'll understand when you are pregnant and a mom." The heck?!? Excuse me? I took it as a snide remark and a bit condescending.
Soooo, you can say that I'm still bitter and I'm afraid that when I talk with her it may come out the wrong way or I may have an emotional breakdown of some embarrassing sort.
To be fair, I don't think alot of people realize how personal " the when are you going to have kids?" question is. I don't think they think that alot of couples face infertility issues. Honestly, if I didn't have to go through the struggle of conceiving a child, I probably would be one of those people.
We finally had our initial consult with the fertility clinic. It was suppose to be last week, but due to my Dr.'s surgery schedule, they had to reschedule it, which I'm really, really, thankful for as I'll explain why later.
As I pulled into the parking lot, I still couldn't believe that I was going into a fertility clinic. I guess you can say that I am and have been in denial regarding our trying to conceive. I keep hoping that we'll magically get pregnant on our own each month. Obviously, that hasn't been the case, but hey, when you have an unexplained infertility issue going on between the two of us, it can't hurt to dream, yes?
When I walked in, it was kinda comforting seeing people in the waiting room that were there for the same reason as you and that was "having a hard time getting pregnant." For some reason, I was soaking the environment all in as if I were going to write a novel describing the place. Weird, I know. But, knowing that this will be a place to visit for awhile, I wanted to get used to where everything is.
One thing I noticed is that they had many, many doors. People were being called in from various locations. It was kinda funny. The first time when I got called in, they called me from the door closest to me to get my vitals such as my height, weight, temperature, blood pressure, heart rate, and oxygen level. They even took a couple picture of us for our file which I found kinda funny.
Then, they had us wait again in the waiting room and finally after what seemed like an hour, they called us in again but from another door which I couldn't see. I heard my name, but just couldn't figure out where it was being called at. It was all too funny.
The doctor (RE) we met up with is the head of the facility. Before coming in, I've heard good reviews about him. It was good to finally meet him and see how caring and compassionate he is which reasassured my confidence in him. He basically went over our file and then did an ultrasound on me. So glad that our consult appointment was done today as I just finished up my AF. Had it been last week, they would have seen me in all my gory, gunky, self. The day of our first appointment I just started my AF and when I just start my AF, I am very heavily flowing. Can you just imagine the horror???
Right now, our plan is to get some blood work done. One of them being an FSH level on Day 3. My Catholic OB did get an FSH level done, but it was done randomly. The result of it was within normal limits, which was encouraging but he still wanted to get a Day 3 FSH level. Once all the labs are done, he's then going to start me on the fertility drug, Clomid and we'll do IUI.
Hopefully, we can start in July. Here's for a great summer everyone!
Mr. Dubyah and I are nearing our 2 year wedding anniversary and I gotta admit that we are getting the
" When you having a baby?" question more and more. It doesn't help neither that most people know our ages and so they have to pull the biological clock card on me.
I was wearing a not-so-flattering blouse last week at a family gathering and one of the older ladies approached me asking how many months I was. Yeah, it was that bad of a shirt and I made sure to make a mental note to throw this blouse away! Fortunately, I took it in good stride and answered that it was my blouse that made me look pregnant and she apologized profusely. But, I just couldn't help but dream of what it would be like to answer her with the most gleeful answer of, " oooh, I'm x months pregnant!"
Anyways, as I digress, I was speaking with a friend over the weekend who is also having infertility issues and she relayed to me that everyone knows about their struggle of having a child. It got me thinking. Should I just tell people that we are having a difficult time when asked? It is something to be ashamed of? At the same time, I'm not sure if I want people to feel as though they have to quietly step around me when it comes to their own joys.
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