The Alternative.

This afternoon I went to my very first acupuncture session with Dr. Cherry. I've read so many good things about this guy that I guess I had these high expectations of him being so compassionate and caring and boy, were they all correct. I was able to open up to him like no other despite just meeting him for the first time. Weird, no?

We discussed me trying to conceive and was very surprised that the Catholic OB didn't order an FSH test. Yeah, same here, buddy! I didn't know about an FSH test until after the fact that I got referred to the fertility clinic and frankly at this point, whatever. I'm positive that the fertility clinic will order the test, no doubt. 

He did a 25 minute acupuncture treatment on me. When he placed the needles on me, it just felt like a slight pinch but that was it. No other pain whatsoever. He had me lay there for about 25 minutes and in those 25 minutes, I closed my eyes and tried to relax. It was sorta hard though because I hear the receptionist laugh and hear other people talk despite the Massage Envy type of music playing in the background.   There was a needle in each of my ears, one in the middle of my forehead, a few on my lower limbs and lower abdoment area. 


In all honesty, I'm not quite sure about this yet.  He would like to me visit him on a weekly visit. I failed to ask him how much each visit would cost me. If it is $145 per session, I may have to re-think this. 


He gave me a book, titled, The Infertility Cure, by Randine Lewis. I read a few chapters in it and some aspects of it has caught my interest, whereas some didn't. I just can't help but wonder if it's all more of a psychological belief when it comes to Eastern medicine. My pessimist side can't help but come out.

A New Chapter

Well, I went through the HSG test and I gotta be honest that I was dreading the test the whole time. I was scared to feel what I was going to feel and nervous what I was going to see. Are my tubes open? 

Happy to report, YES THEY ARE OPEN, but what the hell? Why no baby then? I didn't experience any cramping whatsoever. I'm not sure if it had to do with the 400mg of Ibuprofen I took an hour before the test or because my tubes were open. Nonetheless, it was pain free but slightly uncomfortable. 

Catholic OB called me the next day and went over the test and just as I anticipated, he referred us to the Northern California Fertility Clinic. So, here we are, about to start a new chapter in our lives. I'm scared. I'm nervous. I'm anxious. I'm excited. I just want to move on. 

Our lovely packet came in the mail and I gotta admit that I still can't believe that we are having problems conceiving a child despite the fat teal print staring right back at me with the words, " fertility medical clinic." Why, oh Why God? What are you trying to teach me? Because seriously,  this is causing nothing but stress and lots of emotions. 

I've also made an appointment with a acupuncturist that specializes in infertility and works with the fertility clinic we are going to go to. Unfortunately, even though our insurance covers acupuncture 20 times of the year, they don't cover this particular one. There are designated acupuncturist we are supposed to go per our insurance and they aren't one of the ones listed. Go figure, right? Infertility is always associated with high costs. Hmph! 

Anyways, I'm looking forward to meeting Dr. Cherry (acupuncturist). I've read nothing but great things  about him and hoping that his regimen will just enhance us. 

 



 

Just One More Test?

Right now, I'm waiting for a phone call from my Catholic OB that my insurance approved me for the HSG test.  I ultimately decided to see the Catholic OB because 1.) he already knows my history 2.) don't want to hassle with going through the baseline examination then some and hence having to wait more which means a big fat waste of time.

I figure if the HSG test goes either way; blocked or unblocked, he's going to refer me to a fertility clinic which I need anyways.  Per the fertility clinic, it would be more cost effective for me to obtain a referral since they take my insurance. Really? That's funny because Mr. Dubyah's urologist wasn't aware and had to pay the out of pocket fee for them to perform a comprehensive SA. In fact, they stated to him that our insurance denied the coverage. 


Moving on.....


A couple of days ago, I found this quote quite funny from 999 Reasons to Laugh because my close friends are constantly saying these types of stories to me.

As soon as someone find out you’re dealing with infertility, the bad advice begins…

I know someone who knows someone who got pregnant after adopting their second  child.. My friend’s daughter’s friend tried drinking herbs and got pregnant after 7 years…. My dentist’s sister couldn’t conceive and then an Acupuncturist blew in her left eye and poof! She got pregnant!

Suddenly everyone around you has a story about someone who knows someone else who got pregnant after infertility. Your doctor knows this person, your cleaning lady knows, your dentist knows and even your hairdresser knows someone. But oddly, no one ever seems to know this person directly. It’s like an urban legend. “I know someone who knows someone else who heard it on the radio that this couple tried getting pregnant for 8 years, and finally after switching toothpaste, she got pregnant!” Wow. That is a fantastic story for hope! Sarcasm.
Those stories aren’t helpful. Good for those couples who got pregnant but that doesn’t help you get pregnant any quicker. The best thing to do is counteract those stories with your own.
I know someone who knows someone who conceived on Easter and 9 months later, gave birth to chocolate cream-filled eggs.    I know someone who got pregnant even though she had no uterus, he had no sperm and they never even had sex. I know someone who tried for 7 years, spent thousand of dollars on fertility treatments, miscarried and then still couldn’t get pregnant. How is that for a heart-warming story?
I know someone who waited each month for her baby to arrive and experienced heartbreak and disappointment when it didn’t. I know someone who tried fertility treatments that didn’t work but had the strength and perseverance to continue, never giving up hope. Maybe that someone is you.

 I don't get the reaction of frustration towards my close friends, rather I do find hope in their stories. I know they mean the best and I am thankful to have them everyday in my life. 

I know in my heart that we will be pregnant and/or with children someway and somehow. This is just an obstacle that the husband and I are having to go through and we are going to pass with it with flying colors. Looks like I'm starting to slowly get out of this numbness. I think.
 

Pure Coincidence?

Weird. Coincidence? Maybe. Or is it because I'm more akeen to all this IF talk that it grabbed my attention. 

What I'm talking about is the special episode on The View this morning. Did anyone catch it? It was titled, " Trying to Have a Baby?" The women discussed their own personal battles of infertility and how they came across being dignosed. They also had professional fertility specialists come onto the show to talk about IF as well as couples battling infertility. 

My heart went out to a guest who was a 47 y/o woman currently going through a divorce. She married at the ripe ole age of 40 and immediately her and her husband began trying for a baby. Sadly, they weren't successful and it took a toll on their marriage, although it wasn't the entire reason why their marriage broke up. She is not able to use the embryo's from her ex as he will not allow it as he no longer wants to become a parent. 

This episode just made me wonder if it was a sign telling me that I shouldn't have rescheduled my OB appointment this morning. I just couldn't do it. I chickened out. I just got my AF on Wednesday and the first few days are usually the heavy days. So, if he were to perform a baseline exam on me, I think I would have been mortified. So, I rescheduled and guess what? My period should be ending right around that time, hopefully. Go figure. Can I get a mini break?

Oh, and did I mention that this new OB is kinda hot? So this whole new OB thing is making me sorta nervous. Never had somebody that is eye candy exam my privates. Reminds of Sex and the City.

Now I'm wondering if I should just try and schedule an appointment with my old OB to see if I can get in sooner. He already knows my history and we both know the next step would be an HSG. So, we'll see. I'm going to fax Mr. Dubyah's results to him tonight and see what he says and take it from there.  

A New Month + A New OB

As predicted, I got my AF this morning. I gotta say that although I knew it was coming because of the symptoms I was feeling during the week, I was sorta trying to not let it come. Don't ask me how I was trying to do this. I don't even know myself.  All's I know is that reality bites. Seriously. 

Surprisingly,  I took it in good stride. Like I said, I'm becoming numb to this whole IF thing. 

Tomorrow morning I have my first appointment with my new OB. Gut was telling me with my initial OB to not continue seeing him. Loved him and all his soft spoken personality, but he just wasn't as aggressive as I was hoping he would be. Found out later that he's a die hard Catholic which is fine by me. I'm a Catholic, too! But, at times, he tends to mingle his faith with his practices. For instance, when discussing our plans to find out why I wasn't getting pregnant, it went down as this:

Plan A: Hormone test on me

Plan B: SA analysis on Mr. Dubyah. If normal, go to Plan C

Plan C: HSG procedure

Plan D: Referral to fertility clinic

Did you notice no fertility drugs were mentioned in our game plan? 

Anyways, going back with my new OB. So yeah, I have my AF and I'm still attending the appointment. I want to see if I can go ahead and schedule an HSG with him which I believe will most likely be the next step. Keep your fingers crossed that he won't exam me down under with my AF. If he does, I will feel so humiliated. LOL 

p.s. A friend introduced me to an application on my iPhone called the Period Tracker. It's a pretty cool program and it definitely beats having to write it down on your calendar. 

Making IF Public.

Mr. Dubyah and I are nearing our 2 year wedding anniversary and I gotta admit that we are getting the
" When you having a baby?" question more and more. It doesn't help neither that most people know our ages and so they have to pull the biological clock card on me.

I was wearing a not-so-flattering blouse last week at a family gathering and one of the older ladies approached me asking how many months I was. Yeah, it was that bad of a shirt and I made sure to make a mental note to throw this blouse away! Fortunately, I took it in good stride and answered that it was my blouse that made me look pregnant and she apologized profusely. But, I just couldn't help but dream of what it would be like to answer her with the most gleeful answer of, " oooh, I'm x months pregnant!"

Anyways, as I digress, I was speaking with a friend over the weekend who is also having infertility issues and she relayed to me that everyone knows about their struggle of having a child.  It got me thinking. Should I just tell people that we are having a difficult time when asked? It is something to be ashamed of? At the same time, I'm not sure if I want people to feel as though they have to quietly step around me when it comes to their own joys. 





 

Semi Good News.

We received Mr. Dubyah's SA results from the fertility clinic. Low n' Behold, they were normal. NORMAL! I couldn't believe it. I mean, how could the first two lab results show extremely low results for the motility and morphology and then, bam, a fertility clinic comes in with their high tech machines and outshines them all!

I'm in disbelief to say the least. Still on the cautious side and just waiting for something or somebody to tell us something is wrong. I can't help it. It's so hard not to have your hopes ups so high. This is what IF has done to me emotionally. To be numb.

In other news, I am so thankful for the friends we have in our life. There are two friends in which they were one of the first people whom we told about our IF issues. I think part of the reason why we told them was because they are both in the medical field. He's a neurosurgeon and she's a nurse practitioner. Anyways, NP wanted me to talk to her sister in law because she went through IVF 5 years ago and had two beautiful twin boys. So, the other night,  we go to their house and talk about going through IF and IVF.

Talking to them has pretty much pointed us in the direction of IVF. We've been on the fence about it. Not sure if we should go straight for it or speak with my OB. But, they got us thinking. At least, the SIL did. She told me that since I've been trying for over a year now with no success and given my age, she would recommend going straight for IVF. Sure, the OB can offer me some pointers, but will probably advise me to try out fertility drugs, then IUI, etc. By the time, I go through all of that, I would have probably wasted yet another year and money with no baby in tow.

So, come Monday, Mr. Dubyah and I are going to set up an appointment to get an initial consultation. Oh Boy! I'm nervous. How are we going to come up with the funds to get this done?