On the bright side of this whole, " not being pregnant," thing is that, hey!, I can grub on some oysters this coming weekend!
I've been planning a trip for our close family and friends to have a little picnic at Tomales Oyster Farm in Point Reyes, CA. I am a huge fan of oysters. Huge! So, least to say, I'm wildly excited about this trip even though it's quite a trek for us. It's roughly a 2-3 hour drive and from what I hear, it can be a very twisty ride.
What we get to do is snag our table as it's a first come first serve basis. Then, we go ahead and purchase a bag or two or three of oysters. Depending on the size (extra small, small, medium, large), the price can range for a bag of 50 oysters can range from $35.00 to $70.00.
I'm so looking to some quality time with the family.
I think I'm ready now to talk about this. Huge disappointment. Heck, even my doctor and nurse were surprised since I responded so well to the medications and Mr. Dubyah had a great count.
I'm. Not. Pregnant.
A few days prior to having to take " the test", I had a feeling that I wasn't. I was feeling my period symptoms in my stomach area. I knew it was the period symptoms because they were aches I've felt far too often. And yup, come Sunday morning as I woke up and went to the bathroom for my morning pee, there it was. Part of me was hoping that I was wrong and that I was pregnant.
So, here's to hoping in the sayin, " Third times a charm."
Tomorrow will be the end of my two week wait of my second IUI. I must say, I had absolute no desire to test early in the week as I did with my last IUI. I still have no desire to test tomorrow. Ultimately, I think I"m going to wait it out through the weekend and pretty much wait and see. Call me callous? Yes. I've developed a callous on this so-called infertility journey. I'm scared to see what the test will result will be.
Its funny how a single small window can practically change your entire life. Your emotions. Your mentality. It's pure agony.
I've been thinking alot lately whether or not I should continue on with a third IUI if I'm not pregnant with this cycle. I kinda want to take a break. Focus on me.... eating better, losing at least 20 pounds, gather my belongings and taking control basically.
It was no surprise for me that I showed a positive surge on Day 13. I wasn't as excited as last month. Maybe it was because I worked the night before and had sleep on my mind.
Made a call into the clinic, left a message with my positive surge, and waited for their call back.
Just as expected, I went in later that afternoon with Mr. Dubyah in hand. I had no mature follicles on the right ovary which kinda dropped my heart for a second. But, when he switched over to the left, that's when my favorite RN exclaimed, " There's the ticket!" Gosh, I heart her. I had three mature folllicles. The biggest one measuring at a whopping 33cm, then the other two were at 26mm and 24mm. Pretty darn good! Also, my RE noticed some free fluid which concerned me at first because I had no idea what free fluid meant. Good or bad? He then explained to me that I'm getting ready to ovulate and the egg is about to rupture. So, they wasted no time and said we are going to do the IUI this afternoon!
No back to back champtionship insemination this time which had me wondering why not? The good news was that Mr. Dubyah's sperm count was at 7.8 million! Wahoo!
So, once again, I'm in the two week wait. The difference is that I'm not as anxious as the last cycle despite my favorite RN stating to me that she just feels as though I'm going to get pregnant this cycle. She's such a sweetheart and I really appreciate her enthusiasm. For some reason, words coming from her give me hope.
I am starting to dread that awful question that most couples get when they've been married for quite some time. I most especially dread it from young couples that push and push it on you to the point of you wanting to stay away from them.
THE QUESTION: When are you guys having kids?
This past weekend, I was dreading that person. I knew that she was going to ask me. Heck, every time I see her, she makes it a point in our conversation to ask me when we are going to have kids. My response this time, " We are practicing." Her response, " Well, you guys have been practicing for awhile."
Mr. Dubyah wants me to talk with her and hopefully educate her how personal this question can be to some people. But, I don't think I"m ready for that " talk" with her yet. I'm still grudging over our long ago phone conversation when her daughter was sick and she was worried about her breathing. To make the long story short, she basically said to me, " You'll understand when you are pregnant and a mom." The heck?!? Excuse me? I took it as a snide remark and a bit condescending.
Soooo, you can say that I'm still bitter and I'm afraid that when I talk with her it may come out the wrong way or I may have an emotional breakdown of some embarrassing sort.
To be fair, I don't think alot of people realize how personal " the when are you going to have kids?" question is. I don't think they think that alot of couples face infertility issues. Honestly, if I didn't have to go through the struggle of conceiving a child, I probably would be one of those people.
It's alot easier this time. My second round of IUI. I now know what to expect. The twinges. The burning sensation. The headaches. I just hope that I don't grow too accustOomed to it as I don't want to be doing these rounds over and over.
I'm on CD 11 which means I've busted out the ovulation testing kits. Hoping to get inseminated this weekend. What sucks is that we were suppose to visit the in laws this weekend because my father in law isn't doing so well, healthwise. I feel awful that we most likely can't visit them. Hopefully, we can visit them soon, but with all these weddings we have this month, I find it unlikely. The soonest is the end of October.
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